Question 76: Which is the seventh
commandment?
Answer: The seventh commandment is, "You
shall not commit adultery."*
Question 77: What is required in the seventh
commandment?
Answer: The seventh commandment requires that
we preserve our own and our neighbor's chastity, in heart, speech, and
behavior.
DAY 1: A Pattern for Marriage in the Beginning
This week we start to examine the seventh commandment. Let me start by saying that though the term used here brings to mind the violation of the marriage covenant, we will see that the principle governs all of human sexuality.
First, let’s take a look at Exodus 20:14. In Hebrew this verse is one word, na’aph
(naw-af’). It simply means “to commit
adultery” and is frequently used to speak of men in this regard committing
adultery with another’s wife. The Greek
Septuagint uses two words ou moicheuo (oo moy-khyoo’-o). These words communicate the same idea. That idea is that one should not be an
adulterer; have unlawful intercourse with another’s wife. Both of these terms refer to physical
adultery. However there is a Jewish
context for these words. They were often
used as a Hebrew idiom for being enticed into adultery for the sake of
idolatry. This would be personified in
the life of Solomon. Though Solomon was
the “wisest man who ever lived”, he was very foolish in following after women
that led his heart astray from the one true God (1 Kings 11:1-13; Neh.
However, for this week’s lesson we will be looking at the
positive demands of the command rather than the negative aspect of it. Therefore let us begin with what God has
called us to as men and women. First of
all we have the principle in Scripture of marriage. In Genesis 2:24-25 we see that God brought
Eve to Adam they were joined together then in what the Bible refers to as
marriage and they were naked and not ashamed.
The marriage covenant was then and is now a place where a man and his
wife can be naked and unashamed. It is a
place of intimacy and a giving of one’s self to someone in such a way that they
do not give themselves to any other person.
However, we see that God has set the boundary lines for sexual intimacy
and that is within the confines of 1 man and 1 woman for life. God did not bring Adam another man, nor did
He choose one of the animals to be his mate.
Rather God made a comparable helper for him. In verse 20 of chapter two of Genesis we see
the term comparable. There the word is neged (neh’-ghed). This term speaks of something, or in this
case someone, that is parallel. It also
speaks of “being before the eyes of”. In
other words, the idea is that woman was to complement man by being made in his
likeness. We know that animals are not
made in the image of God. Therefore
Adam’s helper needed to be parallel to himself.
Therefore she was to be “bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh”. She was to be able to be his helper.
In verse seven we read that Adam was formed (yatsar
yaw-tsar’). This idea of being formed is
very striking. Before I get to it, let us
remember, lest we exalt ourselves in some fashion by glorying within our flesh,
that we are made of clay, dirt and dust.
Our physical bodies will return to dust some day and therefore our glory
is not in our flesh, but in our Creator.
Notice that when God made the plants and animals (Gen. 1:11-12, 24-25),
He simply spoke and the ground brought forth plants and animals. However, when He made man he took time to
fashion him and design him and took great interest in forming him. Remember man was to be superior to the
animals. He was to be the image bearer
of God (Gen. 2:26).
When we read of Eve being made, the Hebrew word is banah
(baw-naw’). It simply means, “to
build”. As we might use in the
vernacular, “She was built”. God took
careful design in the creation of woman too.
She was suitable equipped with the beauty to capture her husband’s eye
and to fulfill her role as a mother.
Some of the things that come to mind are the female parts which enable
the woman to conceive and give birth along with breasts that can provide milk
for infants. These are some of the
things that were built into woman to enable her to help her husband fulfill his
duty which God had given him of being fruitful and multiplying, filling the
earth and subduing it and taking dominion over the living creatures of the sea
and land (Gen. 1:28).
We see then that God’s design is for a man and woman in a marriage
covenant to work together fulfilling the command of God and also fulfilling one
another in the process. We will speak to
that fulfillment in the following days.
The Scripture is very clear when it comes to how a man is to guard his
heart concerning others who would seek to intrude into his fidelity with his
wife and likewise him intruding into the marriage relationship of another man’s
wife. For instance, we can look to
Proverbs 5 and see clearly that young men are to steer away from an adulterous
woman in order that they might preserve their soul and their lives. Men must guard themselves against sinful
longings and desires toward those of the opposite sex in order that they may
obey the seventh commandment. As
Christian men we should not be as the world and think with our passions and
lusts as we did before Christ saved us (Eph. 2:1-3), rather we should seek to
honor God by sexual purity because it is God’s will (1 Thes. 4:3). However, this purity is not just a matter of
physicality, but rather is, again, a matter of the heart.
Let me say that I was called one year to speak at a True Love Waits
service. Though I had heard many
messages at many of these type meetings, not one of them dealt with the issue
of the heart. Many parents and sadly
many young people are content with no physical sexual activity before marriage. However, what about our hearts? Jesus’ words ring so loudly, “For out of the
heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false
witness, blasphemies.” Though we may
keep ourselves pure physically, we must be on guard to preserve our hearts. This was the issue I addressed that night and
I still believe should be the message concerning sexual purity, which is the
principle tied to this commandment. It’s
one thing for a young person to have some kind of ring and get patted on the
back for signing a card or something.
It’s quite another to seriously consider the depravity of our own hearts
and understand that only the Holy Spirit can cause us to have clean hearts that
should result in clean pure actions.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to encourage our children to live
sexually pure lives. My problem is when
that takes a very pragmatic approach in the same vein as “decisional
regeneration” has come to be. Jesus was
one that focused on the heart. We will
see what He said about the heart’s attitude with regard to adultery in the next
lesson. With this said, let me end this
day’s lesson (since I’m already on page 3).
Do the children in your family have a lofty view of marriage? Do they understand that these years
preceeding the time when they are married will be times to be on guard against
the lusts that can easily creep into their lives? Instead of focusing our young boys on the
outward appearance of a young lady, do we help them see what God says in
precious in women (cf. 1 Pet. 3:3-5)?
Are we communicating to our sons and daughters the proper attitude
concerning members of the opposite sex and if we are communicating things of a
sexual nature to our children, are they in such a way that would lead to
perverse or wrong thinking regarding biblical sexuality or are we exalting God
in the midst of sexuality? May God grant
us the ability to communicate the truth about the glories of marriage and
sexuality that will honor the Creator of both of them.
DAY 2: Jesus Examines the Heart Regarding Adultery
Today let us look at Jesus’ words from Matthew 5:27-32. Remember from our look at the sixth commandment, that Jesus exalted the bar of the law and righteousness far above what the people were accustomed to hearing in verses 17-20. We then saw how He dealt with the commandment regarding murder. He brought it down to the attitude of the heart, even tying it to the speech used against one’s neighbor. He does the same thing with the seventh commandment regarding adultery.
First Jesus quotes from the Septuagint with the same command that we heard in Exodus 20:14. However, what is implied is that the “ones of old time” (their teachers) had merely communicated the external fulfillment of the law. As long as they didn’t actually commit physical adultery, some close intimate conversation was ok with a neighbor’s wife and even some adulterous thoughts regarding one’s wife. But, Jesus is not satisfied with externals, if they are not from the heart, and neither should we. Notice what Christ says in verse 28. “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Look at a few words here with me. First we see the word looks. The Greek word here is blepo (blep’-o). This word is translated elsewhere in the New Testament as “see, take heed, behold, beware, look on, look, beware of”. The word means, “to turn the eyes to anything: to look at, look upon, gaze at” and can be used metaphorically to mean, “to turn the thoughts or direct the mind to a thing, to consider, contemplate, to look at, to weigh carefully, examine”. I have heard many preachers say almost jokingly that it is ok to look once, but it’s that second look that is lust. Well, I have come to the conclusion that is not what Jesus is saying. Instead Jesus is speaking of the corruption of the human heart. Again the word is translated in other places that give us some indication of how it is used to help us understand. For instance, when wee behold something or are aware, looking on or being aware of something, we are not simply looking and then taking a second look. I believe Jesus is speaking to the very thoughts that enter our minds. I have also heard Bible teachers say that sinful thoughts passing through the mind are not sinful unless you entertain them. What? Listen our minds are a product of what we have put into them. There are still sinful things that I battle today because of things I have put into my mind in the past. Are those fleeting thoughts of lust not sinful? I believe they are. Those thoughts will almost always begin to produce in us some degree of desire. Even if we say, “No” to the thoughts, there is probably some momentary lust, which is sin. Therefore, it should cause us to be overwhelmed with our own sinfulness.
I believe this also speaks to women’s thoughts, even though men are addressed in the passage. However, I must ask why the man is so intently looking at the woman. Some might say it is because of her sheer beauty. However, most women of that region would keep themselves covered very well, including their heads and face. I believe that implied in the passage is the way we should clothe ourselves. We should not wear inappropriate clothing that is revealing or that contours parts of the body that would cause someone else to lust after us, whether we are male or female. So the sin could also be on the part of the one looked at, if they had indeed dressed in an improper fashion. Also, the Bible speaks of the eyes being used to attract one to adultery. This again would speak to both parties involved.
Let me clarify that I am not saying that men cannot look at the beauty of a woman. I think that it is ridiculous for men not to admire a beautiful woman. It shows proper respect for the Creator. However, there is a definite line between looking and lusting, and I believe each man knows when he has crossed it. Jesus uses the term epithumeo (ep-ee-thoo-meh’-o) to speak of lust. This word simply means, “to turn upon a thing; to have a desire for, long for, to desire; to lust after, covet; of those who seek things forbidden”. For one to lust after a woman means that he is desirous of the relationship and that he would be eager to fulfill that desire, if he could do it without getting caught. This is the issue. For the one lusting is not concerned with holiness, he is concerned with fulfilling the desires of his sinful heart. He has no concern for putting to death the works of the flesh. We must be on guard men to keep our thoughts chaste and pure, as well as, actions that might follow.
I spoke briefly about the eye being used to attract and also as the instrument by which lust comes through. The Jews viewed it the same way and tied the eyes to the hands. They said, “whoever looks upon women, at the end comes into the hands of transgression.” Though they had some very strange and ridiculous laws concerning women, this passage speaks of the very thing that Jesus addresses in this passage. They realized that a man who was preoccupied with looking at women was not merely admiring God’s creation, but was being ensnared in sin. Therefore, Jesus spoke of plucking out one’s eye if it offends (vs. 29) and cutting off one’s hand if it offends (vs. 30. Is Jesus asking us to commit self mutilation? No, He is simply showing the seriousness with which we should deal with sin. We should make a covenant with our eyes as Job did in Job 31:1. That is a perfect example of what Jesus was talking about.
We must determine to do things that will be of aid to us not hinder us. This is exactly where we would draw the line on pornography, sexually explicit conversation, masturbation, etc. Why? Because all of these things affect our thought life as implied by the words of Jesus Christ. Not one of these things can be engaged in without our hearts lusting. Therefore, we must take appropriate measures in the things we watch, the things which we speak about, and the things that we do.
Let me end here today and pick up tomorrow with the issue of divorce & remarriage in verses 31-32. Let me also ask some questions here. Are there things in your life right now that clearly tempt you to commit adultery in your heart? Are there certain relationships you have with members of the opposite sex that seem flirtatious? Are there certain types of magazines, commercials, films, or ads that catch your attention and bring about lust in your heart? Confess those things to God and confess your weakness. Trust Him for strength and fight against those things by fleeing from them. The way to conquer sexual temptation is to flee from it, not confront it head on.
DAY 3: Jesus Speaks on the Issue of Divorce and Remarriage: Is it Adultery?
Today, we will pick up where we left off yesterday. Matthew 5:31-32, as well as, the first part
of Matthew 19 has been a passage that has been in dispute by many throughout
church history. There is only one of two
sides that you can come down to on this passage. Either you will conclude that the only
legitimate divorce that this passage addresses is on grounds of adultery and
then remarriage is permissible, or that divorce is wrong and eventually brings
about adultery with one or both partners in remarriage. I come down on the latter. Before I begin, let me say that this will
attempt to be short. For an in depth
look at this issue and this passage, please see the appendix in the
Notice the words of Jesus here, “Furthermore it has been said”. This is different than how he spoke of the previous issues of murder and adultery. It does not contain “those of old”. John Gill in his commentary makes it clear that the disputes over the reasons for valid divorce were fairly new to Jesus’ time. At that time there were two schools of thought. First, there was the thinking that a man could divorce his wife for any frivolous thing he wanted to (ie. He didn’t find her attractive anymore, burned his bagels, didn’t keep the house well, etc.). Then there were those who saw that the only ground for divorce was adultery. I think Jesus deals with both of those here.
Jesus refers to the permission given to the people for divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 by His statement in verse 31. Now before we get into verse 32 to deeply, let me just comment on this permission. In Matthew 19 Jesus addresses exactly why it was given. The question comes to Jesus, in order to trap Him, from the Pharisees that Jesus is addressing in Matthew 5. They are asking is a man can divorce his wife for any reason? Jesus’ answer is so basic. Notice that He takes them back to the beginning, which we saw in our first day. Verse four is almost a sarcastic remark it seems. “Have you not read?” I can almost see the Pharisees faces as Jesus asks them if they have read what He is about to present to them. These are those who are schooled and trained in the law and yet they are being questioned and taught by the son of a carpenter, at least in appearance. Jesus then goes on to speak of God having created male and female and then saying that a man leaves his father and mother to start a new home where he is joined to his wife and they become one flesh. Verse six becomes the climax here, “They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate”. The word for “joined together” here is suzeugnumi (sood-zyoog’-noo-mee). It is used of the marriage tie and means, “to fasten to one yoke, yoke together”. Oxen would be put in the same yoke by their master and would be used to do the master’s will, such as plowing a field. The same type of picture is given here. A man and woman are brought together and God yokes them together and no man should separate them. Notice that: “let not man separate”. This is an exclusive statement. There is no man who should seek to dissolve any marriage. Only God should have the right to do such a thing and the Scripture is overwhelmingly evident that He does so by death.
Jesus is then asked why Moses commanded to give the woman a certificate of divorce and put her away. The word that is used for “commanded” is being used to indicate that Moses, in giving permission for divorce, was in fact issuing a command for divorce that came from God. These men were trying to see how what they had been taught could be reconciled with what Jesus was saying. However, Jesus cuts them off by saying that Moses permitted them to put away their wives. This term permitted is epitrepo (ep-ee-trep’-o). It means, “to turn to, transfer, commit, instruct; to permit, allow, give leave”. The reason behind such permission was not the command of God, but rather because of the hardness of their hearts. Therefore, the issue was not what the wife had or had not done, but was an issue of hard-hearted men.
The very next verse in Matthew 19 is almost exactly the same
as the one in Matthew 5. Jesus states
that if a man divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery. Also, the woman commits adultery when she
marries another man. But, people are quick
to point out, “There’s an exception clause”.
Yes there is. However, people
want to tie this to adultery. But notice
that there are different words used here.
In both Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 the reason in the exception clause is
not adultery (moichao). Rather,
the term is sexual immorality (porneia por-ni’-ah). This term can have many different usages,
including adultery. However, does it not
seem strange that Jesus, in addressing divorce and remarriage speaks of adultery
and yet uses a different word here in the same context? Not only that, but in the other passages that
have this particular scene (Mark
The reason for the writ of divorce was if a woman was divorced and another man married her, she could easily be put to death once the man discovered that she was not a virgin, if he so desired. Therefore, the piece of paper protected her life. In Jewish custom, a couple that was betrothed, or engaged, were as good as married. It would take a divorce to separate them. This is precisely why in Matthew 1:18-19 we find that Joseph and Mary were betrothed and before they came together she was with child and Joseph sought to put her away secretly. Joseph would have to divorce Mary, but he wanted it done secretly, because he truly loved her and did not want her to suffer the punishment that went along with what he perceived was porneia. Though she was considered to be his, they had not been formally wed. Yet, she was still considered his husband (vs. 19). Therefore, a perception of what she had done was that she had sexual relations with someone other than Joseph. However, in verse 19 Joseph is referred to as a just man. The term speaks of him being just in the sight of God. This seems to be the best way to reconcile Jesus teaching on divorce and remarriage. The exception clause specifically referred to the betrothal period, when the prospect of sexual immorality had taken place. However, Jesus was very clear that to divorce was not God’s command and that those who are divorced and remarry commit adultery and those who marry them commit adultery.
I understand that this is a hard issue. However, we must teach these truths and hold the institution of marriage high. We must also speak seriously of the consequences that such actions bear.
In closing today’s lesson, let me also add some brief comments concerning some of the other Scriptures we had this week. I will try to elaborate on them more thoroughly this Lord’s Day. How are we to deal with sexual sins? Are we to look for them and seek them out? The Bible gives us clear instruction regarding this. First Corinthians 7:2 says that we are to flee sexual immorality. Joseph is a good example of such fleeing in Genesis 39:12. This is the same type of instruction that Paul gave to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:22. The issue then that we should bring to the attention of our children is to know and understand what God has called us to and how to avoid falling into the snare of sexual sins. We can only avoid such sins when we clearly understand what God’s will is concerning sexuality. To be sure, in case someone in the future reads this, God can and will forgive those who are willing to confess these things that we have discussed as sin and repent of them. However, we desire to teach our families the ways of God so that we might walk in them and find blessing in them. With that in mind, let us take seriously the seventh commandment.
Scripture: Exodus 20:14; 1 Corinthians 6:18;
7:2; 2 Timothy 2:22; Matthew 5:28; 1 Peter 3:2.