Standing before two thousand wedding guests this past Saturday, Tracy Leininger and David Craven fulfilled a promise that each of them had made to God and to their parents when they were many years younger — they kissed each other.

But this was a special kiss — the kind of kiss you rarely hear about these days. It was a first kiss. And it was the kind of kiss that can only be given between a man and a woman who have never loved another, and whose bodies, minds, and spirits were preserved and prepared only for each other. Yes, this was the first time either David or Tracy had romantically kissed anyone in their entire lives.

Most importantly, it was a kiss that brought to completion one covenantal vow and inaugurated another. Years ago, Tracy had made a pledge to her heavenly Father and His earthly representative (Tracy’s dad). She pledged that she would give her daddy her heart, would trust him, and wait for God to send an appropriate suitor. Along the way, she would neither give her heart, nor her lips, to any man but the one true man whom God had chosen to be her mate for life before the beginning of time. David, too, had purposed to follow a similar narrow path. He would obey God through self-control, honor to parents, and a commitment to keep himself pure — never kissing any girl but his one true love on the day that he would pledge to her his troth in marriage.

On March 20, 2004, David and Tracy fulfilled their covenant to the Lord and their parents and entered into another covenant with the Lord and each other.

Defying Stereotypes

In a thousand ways, this winsome, athletic, and culture-conquering bride and groom defy the stereotypes one sometimes hears about home educators. David was a recognized national home school basketball star with offers to follow the path of many athletes into college. After a brief season at school playing ball on scholarship, he chose to return home, to serve others, to develop skills as a craftsman and entrepreneur. He even served for six months as an intern with Vision Forum. Similarly, Tracy honored her father by remaining under his roof and protection (with a brief season at college), and advanced his vision through the publication of many glorious and God-honoring children’s books. It is no exaggeration that Tracy — while remaining in submission to and honoring her father — has, through her accomplishments as an author, influenced tens of thousands of young ladies to love Christ more. In her own community, she has touched the lives of many young girls by teaching them etiquette, literature, history, and gourmet cooking skills. (The Vision Forum Beautiful Girlhood Collection is built around Tracy’s historical fiction books — click here to see them.)

A Lifetime of Covenantal Relationships

But to my way of thinking, there is something else which is so wonderful, so singular, that it gives a rich and deeper meaning to the covenantal nature of this marriage:

The marriage of David and Tracy was conceived in a lifetime of deep, rich, meaningful Christian relationships between families, and within the community of believers that live here in San Antonio. In fact, it is fair to say that the marriage of David and Tracy is “beautifully obvious” — i.e., it was not only meant to be (in the Divine sense), but the “rightness” of this union is obvious to the many brothers and sisters in Christ who watched them grow up together.

Their lives have paralleled for more than two decades. From the infancy of David and Tracy, both sets of parents have been friends with a similar vision before the Lord. The relationship of the parents set the stage for David and Tracy to grow up in the same Christian community, with the same Christian friends, enjoying many of the same Christian experiences. A brief look at the (large) contingent of grooms and bridesmaids in the wedding party is also revealing. Many were home educators who made the very same commitments, had similar blessed relationships between families, and who, like David and Tracy, never kissed another before stepping up to the marriage altar.

How Did All of this Come to Pass?

How did all of this come to pass? The short and truthful answer is — “by the mercy and grace of God.” David, Tracy, and their parents are humble to the point of frustrating a writer/preacher like me, who is passionate about communicating to a hurting world the simple fact that God’s ways work! They are quick to deflect all praise to the Lord, to list their many failings and shortcomings, and confess their own amazement over the goodness of God.

This being said, the longer answer to the question of “how did this come to pass?” is that God blessed the vision of a handful of earnest parents — the founders of the San Antonio home schooling community (specifically, I refer to the FEAST organization) — who purposed to honor the Lord and support the Church of Jesus Christ by building a community of life and love where parents invested tremendous amounts of time into the discipleship of their children and embraced the mission of returning to the “old paths,” the biblical paths of a life separated unto the Lord.

It took a lot of love, a lot of patience, and a lot of prayers to build a true sense of Christian community. Such a mission is not for the faint of heart. Neither can one simply move into a community and all-of-a-sudden receive the benefits of the labor and commitments of others. It takes much time, ferocious loyalty, quiet patience, and a lot of love. It takes a commitment to covenantal relationships within families, within churches, and even between friends. Most of all, it takes the mercy of God blessing the vision of parents who will give up a life of selfishness to embrace a life in which every day is committed to laboring in the vineyard of the souls of their children.

God blessed fathers like Jim Leininger, who most nights for twenty-five years prayed with and kissed his daughter before bed, who gave her vision and opportunity, all while encouraging her to be virtuous, feminine, and separated unto the Lord. God blessed mothers like Cecelia Leininger, who was not content to accept the “reality” the secular world would foist upon her family, and instead honored her husband by building a distinctively Christian culture for her household in which her children could thrive on the Lord Jesus. God blessed prayer-warrior mothers like Cathy Craven, who instilled a passion for truth into her son; and He blessed the manly, quiet leadership of Mayor Jim Craven whose ever-present twinkle in his eye points to the deep gratitude for others and hunger for truth which are some of his defining qualities.

I am reminded of the story of two women at the check-out line of the grocery store. Observing the remarkable obedience and sweet spirit of the one woman’s children, the other woman turns and says:

“Boy, I would give my life for such children.”

To which the other replies: “That is exactly what I did.”

Bottom line: It is one thing to dream great dreams for God; it is another to be willing to pay the price to see such dreams become realities.

Watching Purity

The sweetest moment of the wedding came after the vows, but before the kiss. As the officiating minister, I had the best seat in the house to observe this precious moment. After the couple had said their vows, they lit a candle and returned to me where they kneeled at a prayer bench. It was a sacred moment of sheer purity and joy as the couple quietly whispered to each other for the first time as man and wife, and ever so-quietly prayed for each other. It is moments like these that refresh my soul and remind me why we are in the battle for the family. Purity is so precious it must be preserved and cultivated.

Closing Thoughts

In a world of covenant breaking parents and children, of churches that actually encourage such bad behavior, of Presidents who commit adultery in the White House, and of tens of millions who annually experience the pattern of successive heartbreaks and infidelity due to the training fostered by the dating lifestyle, the contrast between the secular vision for romance and the biblical approach taken by David and Tracy is staggering. It is my firm conviction that the track record this couple brings with them into marriage is so bright, so positive, and so victorious, that with God’s grace, their commitment to covenant will be ever present throughout their lives.

I conclude with a simple thought: With this beautiful kiss, our entire community grew stronger. Our children were given an example to encourage them (yes, obedience does pay off — patience in Christ is a noble virtue with rich rewards), our children were given a pattern to follow. Because of David and Tracy and the many other couples in our community who have never even kissed until their wedding day, our children are growing up with the glorious expectation that virtue and holiness are expected of Christians, that such behavior is normative, and that covenant breaking is simply not acceptable. In a world where negative peer pressure is often overwhelming for Christians, such marriage success stories help create positive peer pressure to obey the Lord.

Jim and Cecelia, Jim and Cathy — thank you for humbly and quietly helping to build a community in which biblical parenthood is welcomed with open arms. Thanks to all of you for walking alone. Thank you for the many knocks and criticisms you took over the years by those who simply could not understand. David and Tracy, by your example to my children, you have made it easier for me to be a father. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

The angels in heaven rejoice, and so do we. One pure man has married one pure woman, and together they have vowed to keep covenant with each other and to perpetuate a multi-generational legacy of faithfulness. Today, the world is a better place.