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I hope I am not opening Pandora's box.
I am going to weigh in on the subject of a woman's biblical role and
specifically discuss whether Christian young ladies should go to
college. I do not intend to provoke a heated discussion. I welcome
comments, but I will not address them on my website as I am too busy
at home fulfilling my calling to take dominion of this world by
raising a godly seed.
This is a very controversial subject. As a mother of both sons and
daughters, I have often pondered the futures of my children, and my
husband and I have discussed how best to prepare them to fulfill
their God-given roles. I have dear friends who have different
opinions than I on this topic, and I do not shun them (or vice
versa) because they dare to disagree with me. My opinions,
however, are very strongly held, and I would be dissembling if I
said I didn't think they were correct. That is why I hold them!
Two wonderful Christian young ladies, both of whom I know and
greatly admire, have written articles expressing their opposing
views on the topic of college for Christian women, with the role of
women as an ancillary discussion.
Sally expresses her view that a young woman's focus should be to
prepare for the calling of a wife and mother and that college is
incompatible with this as its focus is to prepare one for a career.
Becky disagrees, saying that college can be an important part of
preparing a woman to participate in taking cultural dominion and
that there are many roles a Chrisitian woman may be called to
fulfill. I would like to offer my perspective as an "older woman."
(Titus 2: 4) I see the discussion of the role of women as
foundational, not ancillary, to this topic.
I think Becky understands that the fundamental issue is a proper
understanding of the biblical view of women's roles. She assumes,
however, that because Sally expresses the importance of a woman's
focus being home-centered, that Sally is limiting that woman's
ability to impact the culture. I agree with Becky that the call to
cultural dominion is to both men and women, and that Sally may have
incorrectly stated that it was only the man's calling, but I think
Sally has a better understanding of the biblical means for women to
fulfull this calling primarily through being a helpmeet to their
husbands and through raising covenant children.
When God gave the curse to Adam and Eve, he not only pronounced
judgment but also gave merciful promises, and He defined their roles
as men and women. In speaking to Adam, God cursed him for his
disobedience and warned him that he would have to work by the sweat
of his brow. In this curse we know that Adam's role is to work, to
do the weed-pulling. Eve, however, was cursed with pain in
childbearing; in her curse we learn that her role is to bear
children. We had already been told that she was created to be a
helpmeet for her husband. This has traditionally been understood to
mean that the Christian husband is to take the lead in determining
the direction of the family, and the wife is to work alongside him
to pursue the goals he has ordained. In a Christian family, the goal
is to take dominion of the earth by fighting in the battle of the
seed of the woman against the seed of the serpent.
Eve was not created single, to take dominion apart from Adam. They
were created for each other, with distinct purposes, but the ideal
was that they function together to fulfill their God-ordained roles.
Becky, however, says that because the ideal does not work out in all
situations, assuming that women should focus their life preparation
on the home is a dangerous idea. I think that Becky makes some false
assumptions about what it means to be "home-centered."
Becky does not think that Sally sufficiently supports her argument
that a woman's role is fulfilled in her home: "According to Miss
Walker, women ought to be in the home, period. She makes the
assumption that Scripture is in support of this idea, but she fails
to give Scriptural support." Yet Sally ends her article with the
favorite quote of Christian homemakers in Titus 2:4-5: "...That they
may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to
love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not
blasphemed." Paul here is giving Titus godly advice about how to set
straight the messy situation in the church at Crete, with concrete
examples of how different groups of people within the church are to
behave. As he defines for Titus the proper biblical roles of men and
women, Paul says that these things are "proper for sound doctrine."
The older women are to set a good example with their behavior, and
one of the things they are to admonish the younger women to do is to
be keepers at home. The fact that younger women need to be
admonished to do this may be an indication that the younger women
tend to chafe at their role. Saying that women ought to be
homekeepers is not "extrabiblical" as Becky asserts.
She also mistakenly assumes that being a keeper at home means being
kept at home. Becky states that she believes it is important for
women to stay home with young children, implying that there
is a time when the children no longer need the mother to be at home.
Where is the scriptural support for this? She then states that
staying home while the children are little does not mean that a
woman must be "bound" to her house the rest of her life. I have
heard of women complaining about being chained to the stove, but
this conjures up an interesting picture! Does this mean that the
poor Christian woman must suffer through the pain of being
imprisoned by the drudgery and burden of children and home, until
her children are at that magical age where she mercifully can be
released to perform true Christian service in the outside world? I
speak tongue-in-cheek; I don't think Becky meant to say this. But
she does mock Sally's home-centered views by implying that Sally
expects the godly woman never to step foot outside the front door.
Becky mentions examples of women in Scripture who are servants of
God in various capacities, but she makes a great leap in assuming
that most of these women were pursuing vocations apart from their
homes. Deborah, of course, is the favorite career woman to cite in
discussing whether women ought to be in positions of authority in
society. She is a unique example, however, on which it is dangerous
to build a theology of women. John Knox, one of my favorite
reformers, thought long and hard on this subject as he observed and
suffered under the various women rulers in Scotland and England.
Here is what he says about Deborah: "For of examples, as is before
declared, we may establish no law; but we are always bound to the
written law, and to the commandment expressed in the same...For God
being free, may, for such causes as are approved by His inscrutable
wisdom, dispense with the rigor of His law, and may use His
creatures at His pleasure. But the same power is not permitted to
man, whom He has made subject to His law, and not to the examples of
fathers." (The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous
Regiment of Women, pp. 64-64) In other words, Deborah was a
special case and we can't use her as an example of the propriety of
women pursuing a "vocation." In fact, her leadership was a curse on
the men of Israel for doing what was right in their own eyes and for
being such wimps. Isaiah 3:12 also affirms that it is a curse to
have women rulers.
Sally never says that a godly woman cannot leave her home at all in
order to contribute to her family's provision. Rather, she correctly
states that the sphere of the woman's activity will center on her
home and family. As for the Proverbs 31 woman working outside of her
home buying and selling a field, the entire chapter actually asserts
how home-centered this virtuous woman was. Her woman's purpose was
to care for her husband and children by centering her activities
around her home. Buying a field and investing her profits is not an
argument for working away from home under the authority of a man
other than her husband. She brings glory to God and blessing to
herself by sacrificing her life for her family, not by running for
political office, teaching other people's children or writing
articles (like this one) on the internet.
Stating that the Bible is replete with examples of strong women who
glorify God without being the stereotypical homemaker, Becky
neglects to mention the many godly women in the Bible who are
praised mainly for their willingness to accept the important role of
wife and mother. What about Sarah, who was praised in Hebrews 11 for
her faith in bearing a child in her old age and in I Peter 2 is held
up as an example for wives to follow in submitting to their
husband's authority because she called her husband lord? What about
Rebekah who waited patiently in her father's house for a husband,
and through her willing service it was made clear that she was a
suitable wife for Isaac and destined to be an important part of the
lineage of Christ? What about Elizabeth who became the mother of
John the Baptist, the most godly man who ever lived, according to
our Lord? How she must have been encouraged by Sarah's life and
example! What about Mary, Jesus's mother, whose whole life was
defined by the privilege of carrying the son of God in her womb? How
was she up to the task of raising and teaching Him without a
master's degree in childhood development with a minor in theology?
Arguing that not all mothers are able to give their children a
quality education, Becky states that God created the vocation of
teacher "for a reason." Again, I would like to see the scriptural
support for this. What about the constant admonition to all parents
to teach their own children God's law, the fundamental purpose of
education? I find no biblical examples of sending children to
schools but many injunctions to both parents and children about
teaching and learning taking place in the context of their special
relationship in the home. I will not say that schools are never
warranted or beneficial, but parents are given the primary
responsibility to educate their children, and our faithful God will
give obedient parents the ability to do this as they submit to Him.
It seemed that Becky was saying in her article that "higher
education" is necessary to equip women to gain the intellectual
stature and knowledge necessary to be prepared for the task of
working alongside those men who are society's intellectuals and
leaders. I'm afraid that too often my experience has been that those
who pursue higher education are ill-equipped to fight battles in the
real world. Spending so many hours in the artificial environment of
the classroom, people can sometimes become too dependent on a
teacher to impart knowledge, and they understand more about fitting
into a bureaucratic structure than about taking the initiative and
forging new paths. My husband, a brilliant man who happens to be a
college drop-out, many times has interviewed people for jobs who had
degrees from Ivy-league universities, but he often hired those who
had less-impressive educational credentials who were obviously more
creative and able to work independently. College does not
necessarily impart more knowledge than education gained through
other means.
As for the hectic schedule which is part of the college experience
preparing a young woman for motherhood and marriage, let me just say
(and I know this will be vehemently denied by some) that the college
years are primarily about promoting oneself by getting good grades
and enjoying social experiences. There is little about this
lifestyle to prepare a girl for the self-sacrifice required to be a
wife and mother. I'm afraid that instead it too often fosters
intellectual arrogance and creates what R.C. Sproul, Jr. jokingly
refers to as "Thunder Puppies." I Cor. 8:1 warns that knowledge
"puffs up." Knowledge can be good when properly used, but apart from
godly wisdom it leads to pride.
Becky is correct that not all women are called to be wives and
mothers. There are some who are single, childless or widows, but
these conditions are not the norm. In fact, being single or
childless is quite unusual; being a widow is more common, but there
are very specific guidelines given to the church about caring for
widows, and their sphere of influence is still to be home-centered
(I Tim. 5:3-16). Most women will marry and have families. Marriage
is God's picture of how he relates to the Church. Being properly
prepared for marriage and motherhood is sufficient preparation for
singleness, because the goal for all Christian women ought to be the
goal for all Christians: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We do
this by dying to self, daily taking up our cross and following Him.
How does the modern trend of sending both our Christian daughters
and sons to college fit in with the goal of fostering this godly
character? Although I am mainly addressing the issue of young ladies
going to college, I do question whether college is always necessary
or beneficial for our sons, as well. Gary North
recently wrote about the futility of spending many thousands of
dollars per year to obtain a substandard education with an unhealthy
dose of moral relativism thrown in (he also presents some very
practical suggestions for obtaining a college degree without
spending so much money and while staying home). It is a big leap of
faith today to assert that a college education automatically expands
the intellect, prepares one for life and empowers one to tackle the
cultural corruption of the day. Sadly, many institutions of higher
learning only offer an education equal to the high school diploma of
the last generation, but for a much higher cost, both monetarily and
spiritually.
There have been stories in the news recently about young women
attaining their dream of enrolling in the Air Force Academy, only to
be crushed by the sexual immorality forced upon them once they
arrived. It is horrible that these women were subjected to such
treatment, but it is ironic that people are so surprised by it. Our
culture is full of perversion, and it is so pervasive that even the
churches are not immune to it. Rather than being able to tackle new
arenas, as feminists would have us believe, young women today are
even more vulnerable to being preyed upon because many of their
protections have been removed in the name of political correctness.
In the traditional wedding ceremony, a father "gives away" his
daughter to the man she marries. This is because Christianity, based
on God's law, has taught that fathers are responsible for protecting
their daughters, just as husbands are responsible to protect their
wives. The oversight of a father for his daughter is different than
the oversight he gives his son. Young men are to be released to be
the weed-pullers and heads of their own covenant households. I
acknowledge that in rare instances women will remain single, but the
Christian ideal is that they would marry and fulfill their equally
important role of helpmeet and mother. Just because a young woman
has a time after the age of 18 when she is waiting on God for a
husband, does not mean her father is no longer responsible for her
protection and oversight. Fathers will interpret this responsibility
in different ways, but the common assumption that a well-rounded
young woman needs to go away to college for something to
"fall back on" can show a lack of trust in God's provision and a
lack of responsibility on the father's part to properly consider his
daughter's future.
Brian Abshire argues in his booklet The Church as God's Armory
that the primary means God has ordained for taking dominion of this
world, for both men and women, is raising a large family of children
trained in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, a godly seed.
Remember that the roles of both men and women were defined right
after the Fall: they were to fight in the battle between the seed of
the woman and the seed of the serpent. Taking dominion means that
Christian men and women are to fulfill their roles in this great
battle, fighting in their respective spheres. For me, the honor of
taking dominion and fighting this spiritual battle means having lots
of beautiful babies, rocking them to sleep, changing their diapers,
feeding them three well-balanced meals a day, teaching them God's
law through Bible reading, catechisms, hymn singing and church
involvement, reading them lots of stories, kissing their owies,
disciplining them when they disobey, teaching them to read good
books, instilling an awe in them for God's creation, teaching both
my daughters and sons to cook, reminding them constantly to prefer
one another above themselves, talking with them all day long about
every imaginable subject, modeling obedience and love before them in
my marriage to my wonderful husband and daily sacrificing my desires
while serving my family. Did college teach me how to do any of these
things? Nope.
How will I know if I did a good job? When I see my children someday
serving God by doing the same things.
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Carmon Friedrich |
Carmon
Friedrich is a reformed Christian, homeschooling mom of
nine ten(!) children, two corgis named Homer (they call
him "the furry kid") and Frodo, two cats, several chickens, and
wife to her hero, Steven. Her website is Buried Treasure
Books. |
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